Numero 4

"Are you crazy" "Do you want to go to a mental institution" "Hooch" "What is wrong with you"

These are just a few of the kind and exciting words that echoed around when the news of baby number 4 in the oven hit the streets. How funny how things change from the 1st one and how I felt it was appropriate to announce it via text! HAHA!

So yes this will be the final baby. I am only a month or so along and probably will not find out the sex just to annoy everyone!

Carrie wanted to know if I was going to blog the announcement because she said she wanted to know how it happened. Well Carrie, here it goes....

On one hot and steamy night, Benny and I were yelling at each other over who works the most hours, then out of no where Sofia hits Marisela on the head and she starts crying. Then Olivia starts crying because Marisela's cry is very loud and it startles her. Then I yell louder about how I am sick and tired of feeling like a single mom. Then I woke up the next day and I was pregnant. The end!

We will miss you grandma

As quickly as Angel noticed a change in Grandma, her health quickly declined as well. That very next day I went in to say good morning only to find her having great difficulty feeding herself. Her shaky hand just couldn't quite seem to get the spoon from the bowl to her mouth. She was quite frustrated with herself. With each passing day she slowly faded from us. Family gathered around her for the next 4 days. Her sons came from Miami, all of her grandchildren arrived and all of her great grandchildren joyfully played in the backyard. Friends and family provided comfort and food. On Sunday, October 12 @ 4:45 pm here in my home, surrounded by family, soft music, prayers and silent tears we watched her take her last breath. Eloquent and peaceful.

Then almost immediately we were in constant motion to plan her farewell. I never realized how much is involved with planning a funeral. I had the honor of dressing my grandmother and doing make up and hair for her in the mortuary. A good friend asked me why I would ever want to do that? My grandmother was such a modest woman that the thought of some man seeing her naked was more than I could bear. It was a very different experience to prepare her body for the funeral, but one that I am glad to have done. She was so beautiful that she really only needed a little blush, and lip gloss. Her services were perfect and Gilbert Sierra played a song that he wrote for her that was simply amazing.

Death is never easy, but I find great peace in her passing. She will be terribly missed and I am so thankful for all the memories that will live on forever. Thank you again for all of you who have been so supportive to my family over the years. We will miss you grandma!

"If we say good night does that mean she will not die"

When you live with someone, you do not really notice change so much. Today Angel came over to visit Nana R. When she walked out of the room in tears I was confused. To me, Nana R looks the same, but to her she does not look well at all. It has been less than a week that Angel has been by to visit but in that short amount of time Nana R's health and physical appearance has changed, most obvious to Angel. Now I know my grandma is not well and I have noticed that she has lost weight and that her appetite has changed. She has also been short of breath more so than ever, but it wasn't until today, through the help of Angel's eyes that I noticed the drastic change. Upon seeing Angel's tears, Miss M asked "Why is she crying?" Now she is only 4, and I was not sure how to respond so I thought for a second and decided that my Miss M needs to hear the truth. I know that she understands that if we do not water the flowers they will die, and I know that she know that if she goes close to the near by canal that she will fall in and the monsters will eat her and she will die. I finally told her, "Nana R is sick and she is going to die soon and go to heaven and we will not see her ever again." After some thought which is typical of things that she is trying to figure out, she said, "Well what will Auntie Berni do?" ( My Aunt B has been faithfully taking care of Nana R with us here in our home) I told her that she would eventually go back to her other home and Miss M said she wanted to go with her. This evening Miss M came up to me out of the blue and said, "I will miss Nana R when she goes with Jesus." I told her I would miss her too and that she needs to make sure that she tells Nana R good night. With a innocent and sincere look she asked, "if we say good night does that mean she will not die?" Oh, what do you say to that?