Why don't they tell you this in sex ed class?

Beware, this entry is gross. Not for the easy to be queasy.
As the days after having Rio went on, my body went through some pretty crazy things. The first few days I felt fabulous, possibly from the high of just having a precious baby. Then about the 3rd day when my milk came in things went pretty south...literally. I had aches all over. My back, my legs, my arms....everything hurt. Of course my boobs were about to blow up as well. After 4 days with no bowel movement, Mr. B started drugging me up on fiber drinks. After well over a half an hour on the potty, tears running down my face, beads of sweat gathering on my forehead, and the sound of a crying baby in the other room, I delivered another child. This time out of my butt. OMG, I thought I was going to die right there on the toilet. Why oh why must a woman who is so regular have to have her schedule interrupted simply because she had a baby. Hadn't my body been through enough? To add insult to injury during that whole traumatic experience I thought my uterus had fallen out of my va-j-j. It was just horrible. I had to call the doc and tell her my organs were falling out of my body. She was no where near as alarmed as I was and said she would check it out at my next appointment 2 days later. Why was my body falling apart. I'm only 30! Anyhow, after getting all checked out, I was assured my organs were not falling out, instead it was just some swollen tissue. With everything in my entire body giving up on my, it was only natural for me to get a clogged milk duct just a few days later. Now, clogged milk ducts come with flu like symptoms, fever, chills, aches, and of course excruciatingly painful boobs. The only way to clear a clogged duct is to keep feeding the baby. For 2 days I was lifeless in bed. Mr. B had to carry me to the tub to get my fever down, and bring me the baby long enough to eat while I cried the whole time in pain. My head throbbed like I was being beat with a 2 x 4. I tried everything, Tylenol, Epson salt baths, shower, hot water, cold water, change nursing positions, Vitamin C, water, rest. I even nursed on all 4's to allow gravity to help a bit while Mr. B helped balance me. I was a mess. By the 3rd day it started to clear up and slowly but surely I began to feel better. It has been a week now, and as of this very moment, nothing else in my body has shut down. I really cannot think of any body parts that are left to fail me. So not fair.